


The Same Day

by soupsalad



Series: Goro is alive but at what cost [3]
Category: Persona 3, Persona 5
Genre: ???just be careful and read the tags????, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Childhood Trauma, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Past Child Abuse, Post-Canon, Trapped In Elevator, also just discussed, but not in a nasty way more like, dear god why did i see that as a kid this is so fucked up, i wasnt sure what rating to give this so, its serious discussions of these things so, talk of underage like..interaction with nsfw media, these things are being discussed not shown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:55:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24802681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soupsalad/pseuds/soupsalad
Summary: Ken Amada shares his birthday with the old leader of S.E.E.S. this used to bring him joy, but the older he gets the more he resents his so-called girlfriend for the issues that he faces today because of their so-called relationship. He had always known it was wrong but she had been so insistent that so long as they never crossed lines it would be fine. He knows now that this is anything but true. Locked in an elevator with Akechi of all people on his birthday he reaches his breaking point and Goro Akechi of all people is stuck having to listen to his anguish on what should be a good day.//Slight persona 5 royal spoilers, sequel to my fic hysteric strength,  //
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Amada Ken, Amada Ken & SEES | Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad
Series: Goro is alive but at what cost [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776391
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	The Same Day

**Author's Note:**

> So some facts before I get into this. 1. I dont hat femc i just hate the fucking fdsdfoijdf romance route its so bad wtf no in this particular fic its pursued but only for me to criticize it bc i hate it and evaluating the effects of such a thing seemed like something I wanted to try. Stuff like this can have such an impact on a persons development u know? 2. i hope the point I'm trying to make comes clear in this fic, exposing children at such young ages to content can be harmful in many ways, like for example creating workaholics that turn to such things as escapism from dealing with thoughts from such troubling events. it's so sad. 3. I really hope this aint ooc but man I wrote this to vent a lil at 5 am and just corrected it while sleep deprived please have mercy.
> 
> So yeah. Be good to kids, don't expose them to thoughts outside of whats appropriate for their ages intentionally bc it can fuck them up, altus is stupid for this ken romance when we could have had a junpei romance or literally just anyone but the fucking CHILD, and haha i really just wanted to like take my 2 favorte persona characters and smoosh them togehter man this is so bad im so sorry. be good to kids. Dont be bad to kids they deserve better. ha. 
> 
> Ok im done rambling, if you like femc this fic aint for you even tho i really like her when shes NOT romancing my boy.

June 24th.

S.E.E.S is a long distant memory and yet every year they come together without fail to celebrate his birthday and hers. It was the same day after all. It's not like they meet in person, everyone is busy, some in various other corners of the planet, but a group chat suffices nicely to fill the gap that could not be filled by meeting one another in face to face.

**Junpei: Happy birthday Ken!**

**Yukari: Happy birthday!**

**Akihiko: Yeah, hap,,py y**

**Junpei: The fuck?**

**Akihiko: Typing hand and eating hand are the same, sent the message too soon by accident. Happy birthday Ken.**

It wasn't like he wasn't happy to hear from them. He sits down to breakfast and eats the stirfry from last night. It was just that thinking about her left a feeling in him he could not bring up to any of them. No one could understand in a way he wanted them to, they were too close to the subject to look back on their time with her with anything but fondness. Truth be told, he didn't want to take that from them. She was dead, why dig her up and bring her to face her mistakes in life now?

Bell peppers still make him sick, he knows its not going to change. He's so much older now and he still feels the same, but any act of rebellion feels like a reclamation of what he thinks he's lost.

**Ken: Thank you! I'm glad to hear from you all.**

**Yukari: Np, And hey, you're pretty old now, almost time to go back to the shadow operatives job isn't it?**

**Ken: Of course! I can hardly wait.**

But it wasn't true, he would gladly wait an eternity if it meant never thinking about the old days again. His stomach turns and as much as he wishes he could tune out the talk of shadows and personas he can't look suspicious to his friends.

**Yukari: I'm sure Mitsuru would be glad to hear it, ****** as well. Happy birthday to you as well leader.**

**Junpei: hell ye boi.**

**Yukari: its been years and without fail you still text like a highschooler.**

**Junpei: I'm in touch with the youthsTM. You ain't seen shit until you have the kids on the team sending you memes.**

**Yukari: Sigh.**

**Junpei: i TEXT like a TEEN says the one who just sent the word SIGH ans a message.**

**Yukari: As***

**Junpei: fgdkguhdfigjdogjidfjgdogjfdj**

**Ken: Some things never change, it seems.**

He never reads her name. He can't without stressing, and he wanted his day to be good. He puts on his clothes and leaves the phone be for now, the others would text later. It was Friday but due to an unexpected accident nearby, class had been canceled for the day.

He laces his shoes and heads out into the streets of Iwatodai.

With him starting his first year as a graduate he wanted to do a bit before he returned to Kirijo and perhaps return with something useful. A few more experiences before he hung up the normal boy facade and went back into the nightmare that was the unpredictable life of a persona user, the life that had died with Her and resurfaced for just a moment before he had made up his mind to hate the old days.

Still. Where to start other than the pastry shop to buy a cake?

He does not buy a cake, no not yet. It comes as a surprise, all of his friends dragging him around to and from in celebration, friends he had found it harder and harder to maintain the older he got. He can't help it, connecting with them is hard, he feels far older, far more worn out by a life of trauma after trauma, it was hard to connect with the easy-going lives of others outside of his horrific past in a way that felt meaningful.

He still goes, he's got a quota to fill, a childhood to live and being a graduate was the final step to that before he could leave this behind and make his way into the adult world where he belonged despite his trepidation around the word. _Adult._ He hated to use it knowing how eager he had been to use it previously.

“Thank you, thank you!” He thanks his friends, like any happy boy would, you only get one chance to be yourself in these circumstances and he was going to do it right if it killed him. Each experience is a puzzle piece building a picture-perfect childhood and he would not let these moments slip through the cracks no matter how his internal self struggled.

Before he knows it, it's late and he's got an entire cake to take home by himself. Fruit piled on top of a buttercream frosting chocolate cake that he could eat over the course of the next few days.

“Hmm…” He thinks about checking his phone. Everyone has probably sent him and ****** birthday wishes by now, it was his favorite fact about her in his youth, the two of them celebrating together in the secret of her room, manga and snacks sprawled out across the bed, his heart racing at the thought of being alone with her, how beautiful she was and how close he was to her. He grimaces at the thought and steps onto the old elevator at his apartment building.

“11:57 pm…” He says looking down at his phones once he's in, watching all his bars vanish in an instant. Service in this hellish box had always been complete garbage. It meant at least he wouldn't have to look at more texts than the one notification from Fuuka that had shown up wishing both him and her a happy birthday.

He leans against the back wall of the elevator and waits, the bag of sodas he had bought hanging over his shoulder and the cake in his hands.

“Ah,” This man's voice is silvery, the doors open, and standing before him is a popular face. Goro Akechi, the number one man against the phantom thieves and popular tv detective. What the hell was he doing all the way out here?

“Ah…” ken waves. “Didn't expect anyone up so late.” He doesn't move, there's plenty of room in the elevator.

“Likewise,” His tone is nothing like it had been on tv. He sounds sadder somehow, a shell of the personality on tv. Someone that charismatic he imagined would be at least a little bit the same in person.

She had been rather charismatic too, he imagined he would be more like her. They even looked alike and it only made him hate the man more when he spoke out against the people bringing criminals to justice, especially remembering it was them who had brought someone like Kamoshida to justice. Still, its just an elevator ride. Soon he would never have to see him again if luck were on his side. 

They say nothing, ready to ride to their respective floors in their tall apartment building. How long was Akechi living here?

The elevator stops. Goro steps forward to a door that never opens and tilts his head at the sight. “That's peculiar.” He just about sighs. He doesn't even sound perplexed, just defeated and lost. Ken really doesn't know what to think.

“Press the open door button?” Ken suggests stepping forward to do so only to watch it not respond.

“Oh…” Akechi reaches into his pocket to check his phone and in that instant just as the light from his phone comes on, the light in the elevator goes off.

They both yell a bit, startled, and then look at each other, illuminated only by the red light of Goros screen.

“Shit!” Ken grumbles, reaching for his own phone to turn on the flashlight.

  
  


“A power outage?” Goro asks curiously, wondering what could have brought this on. Surely a building like this would have back up power.

“Looks like it,” Ken sighs. “Great.” He shakes his head and slides down the wall to sit on the floor. “As If today couldn't get any worse.” 

Goro wants to kick him for a moment, just one moment, the lingering anger he held for Akira making him feel like an open sore and every little complaint out of this man felt like a finger poked right into the festering wound. “Rough day? I can relate.” His tone doesn't improve, it had been a rough day for him. He slides down the wall as well, turning on his flashlight and setting it on the floor so it faced up lighting the small room. “Today is a fucking nightmare.” 

Ken nods, finally letting out what he had hoped to release in the privacy of his own bedroom. His shoulders shaking are a give away to Goro that he was crying.

“Hey…” Goro starts, trying to offer some sort of comfort, but with such a monotone and uncaring delivery, he doubts it's going to do much good. “Hey,” He tries again, this time actually putting in the effort to try and assuage him. “Were going to get out of here, don't cry,” He assures him. He knew how service worked in this elevator, there was no use trying to make a call. He presses the emergency button and hopes for the best.

“It's not even that, I really don't care,” Ken starts, knowing he was going to regret pouring this all on a stranger. He tells himself that its ok, Goro was famous and probably used to weird fans oversharing every now and then. There he was, lying for his own self-benefit again. “I hate this, I hate living like this,” He chokes out. 

“Huh?” What the hell was he talking about? “Oh…” It hits him instantly. People who snap like this are usually on their last straw when they start acting out. As unfortunate as it was he was probably going to sit through whatever this man had to say being stuck with him. That wasn't ideal but whatever he supposed. He had sat through far worse. Some guy having a breakdown after one too many let downs was nowhere near as bad as listening to Akira talk down to him back then. 

“It's my birthday! It's _my_ birthday and I should be able to be happy like everyone else!” he sobs, finally letting out years of built-up emotional turmoil. "It was my day and she had to be born on the same shitty day as me!" He is so painfully aware of how inappropriate it is that he's doing this but the floodgates had already been opened. He wasn't going to be able to stifle this now that he had let it out.

Goro sits back and laces his fingers together in front of himself. It was actually kind of refreshing to see a guy with such trivial normal person problems. There would be no more cases like himself. He wouldn't wish the metaverse and the troubles caused by such power in a teenager's hands on anyone. "Hm." He doesn't offer anything, expression blank. Just let him talk.

"Why did she do that to me?" He sets the cake down next to himself, the ache of a childhood lost too heavy to keep hold of it.

"Hm?" It was veering into strange territory, he was interested only because he didn't mind having someone else to hate, and this _she_ was shaping up to sound like a massive bitch.

"Why didn't she stop me? Why did she let me think like that?" He clenches his jaw shut tight and keeps his face covered. "I was just a child, why did she do that?" 

Goro is now completely invested, the words coming out of his mouth making his stomach turn with fury. "What did she do?"

Ken looks up at his steely expression and feels both grand elation to have a listening ear and sickening by guilt for having drawn him in. "She just…" he takes a moment to try and compose himself. Crying for him had always been in short bursts. He hated to cry and be a burden by doing so. "When I was ten I-" He starts as he uncovers his face but immediately covers it again when he meets Goro's gaze.

"Take your time," Goro assures him. What the hell had come over him? Consoling a stranger.

"When I was… younger…" The hysterics had numbed, now he was just miserable, speaking in monotone. "When I was younger I lived in the dorms and there was this girl. She…" He stops to collect his thoughts. "A girl. I was 10 and she was 16 and i- I had a crush on- I had a crush on her and i-" Just thinking about it to retell it was agony.

"I'm so sorry…" because what can Goro really say to such a thing? Sorry you had a crush? He still didn't have enough info.

"And she said she liked me," He rasps. "And I knew it was wrong, I knew I was just a kid and yet…" he shakes his head. "And yet, she gave me so much attention an-and love and she-" He stops again and during his pause Goro crawls across the floor to sit at his side and rest a hand on his shoulder, being strangers be damned.

"Did she do something to you?" He tries not to grumble or growl when he speaks but the fury he feels is far too visceral. He was a killer and he killed people like her on a regular back then at that time. Seeing children treated badly was enough to make him want to rip the doors open and hunt the person behind this down.

"No-" He assures him, pulling his knees to him and resting his head on his knees. "No, and that's what's so stupid about all of this," he says softly. "She would tell me I was her boyfriend and we would spend time alone in her room...it's just…" He covers his face again. "God, I sound so stupid. She didn't even hurt me and yet…"

"It's not stupid." He says plainly. “You're not necessarily being open about what exactly happened, so I'm just making an assumption based on what I have heard but… It sounds like she did hurt you. You wouldn't be confiding in a complete stranger in tears right now if her actions had no effect on you, you know.” He doesn't look at him, he just sits next to him staring straight ahead at the wall. Akira was better at things like emotions while he felt in his mind he was floundering through this making things worse. “Anything you want to tell me...It seems like we're gonna be trapped here for a while so feel free to say whatever you want.”

Ken nods and wipes his face clean only to have more tears take the place of what was gone in an instant. “It's just...Why didn't she protect me? I was just a child and-” He laughs bitterly. “Well, she was too, wasn't she? The older I get the worse I feel about hating her so much. She was just a kid too, no parents, just like me, to teach her right and wrong and I know she knew right and wrong and yet…” He's silent again for a while.

“...We both knew what we were doing was wrong, me most of all it seems, and yet I was ten and I felt like I was in love and she never stopped me from loving her.” He looks to Goro. “Could you imagine it? Having a 16-year-old girlfriend?” He looks back away. “She would let me hold her, and kiss her on the cheek and...She never did anything in return but the way I felt and the things I did when she wasn't around...I had a computer, I saw things I was never meant to see because of her. Reading things about what I wanted to do with her, to her, exploring concepts like that far too early because she never stopped and asked me to just be a child.”

Goro nods. “It's despicable.” He offers. “Finding myself in her shoes I would have immediately turned away a child moving too fast for their own good. It's an unforgivable thing that she did.” He thinks about his hands around a throat with no face, just the _she_ he mentioned existing as only a being which he wished to choke the life out of.

“Her birthday and mine were on the same day, we were so happy then, but now every time I remember her I just want to curl up and die.” He admits. 

“Remember?”

Ken nods. “She died the same year all of this happened. It was…” He frowns. “It's despicable…” And before he can say much more, much to the surprise of them both Ken's phone dings, he was getting a text.

“Woah.” They both lean over to see, excited to finally have a way to contact the outside world. 

**Junpei: we were unstoppable back then, using my persona was so fuckng cool, I felt like I could take the world like a badass.**

And Ken quickly tries to hide the message but Goro had already seen enough.

“You're a persona user as well?” Goro asks.

“You are?” Ken finds himself shocked. What kind of coincidence was this? “I...Yes?” He wasn't so sure if he should be saying this, but he had already admitted so much.

Goro nods. “Isn't life strange?” He smiles just a bit. “What a strange event to bring us together, don't you think?” He points to Ken's phone. “Send a text.” 

But before they could ask for help, service was out again.

“Dammit.”

* * *

They were still stuck.

“Nowadays I just want to live the life she took away from me, just the life of a kid, unhindered by stuff like that but it's been impossible.” He starts. “Well, not impossible I suppose.” He shrugs. “It's just while everyone else was running around saying stupid childish _things like oh she has cooties I hate girls_ or _mom told me that holding hands with girls would give me a rash_ or you know, other things that children believe. Me... I was so...acutely aware of the reality of relationships and the things you could do within.” He sighs.

  
  


“It's vile.” Ken finishes. “I wanted to be an adult for her so badly that I learned such vile things to catch up with her. Hell, I don't think even she knew all the things I had learned in an attempt to be a good lover.” He grimaces when he says the word. Lover. It leaves him feeling dirty, explaining a child as such a thing. He covers his face, pained by the words coming out of his mouth.

“It is vile.” Goro agrees, thinking back on his own life. “Kids don't deserve to know the truth of such things so early.”

He knows he's biased. It was an impossible to avoid reality in his own life, a mother who entertained men was bound to slip up and be discovered one day, and when the day had come he had wanted to rip out his eyes and pretend he had seen nothing but his investigative mind would not rest until he knew the truth. It was just presumptions at first, "if she was in that position, what was he doing?" followed by surmising answers based on what he knew from what vulgar classmates had been overheard saying. By the time his mother was pulling him aside the next day, he had already burned the horrifying assumptions into his mind, disturbed and so very apologetic to his mother for being born.

He does not hate his poor mother the same way this boy hates this girl, he hates that his mother was put in such a position in the first place by an unjust and cruel world. “Those were the times we should have spent happily, instead…” He doesn't finish.

“You too?” Ken asks looking terrified for the other. 

  
  


“Oh,” He waves a hand, dismissing the notion that his suffering hat been the same. “No, not anything like you it's just…” He wasn't sure what he wanted to say. Too much would be incriminating. “My mother was a…”

Ken's expression only grows more concerned at the mentioning of a mother, his mind going to the wrong place entirely. 

“No, no!” He assures him. "It's not what you're thinking.” He shakes his head. “She did what she had to to make money, and having accidentally witnessed her work, It had left me wondering what horrible thing the people coming into our house were doing to her.”

He crosses his arms. “My mother has never been happy. Its only natural, her life was stolen from her when I was born. I have never known a version of her that was not suffering.” He also crosses his legs, it was easy to make oneself small when thinking about the past, limbs linked together like this he felt locked, unable to be hurt as he spoke.

“Oh, my apologies.” Ken offers.

  
  


“No, I can understand why you would be concerned.” He scowls. “There are so many shitty adults in this world who hurt vulnerable children, I would have made the same presumption if our roles were changed.” He shrugs. “No, my mother was as good to me as she could be, it was the fault of the shitty men who had not taken their leave in a timely manner and-” He stops mid-sentence just about snarling at the memory. “Those pieces of shit ruined our life,” He says instead, trembling with rage. “Perhaps there was more to my mother's downfall, perhaps my very existence was a part of it, but what they did to her drove her to the end of her life and I will never forgive anyone in this world who could have pushed her to such depths.”

  
  


Ken nods but feels a deep sadness for this man who blamed himself for his mothers death. “This world can be so disgusting.” He adds. 

Goro nods as well. “Of course.” He wishes he could calm down, but all he can recall is the anger he had felt that day and the entire span of his life. “That aside, you're a persona user?” Now was a good time for a change of subject.

“Oh, yes.” He had become so wrapped up in complaining he had forgotten Goro had seen that. “We were…” He nods at the memory. “Do you remember a long time ago? People were suddenly just going completely lifeless, apathy syndrome, and that end of the world cult in 2009?”

Goro nods. “At one point a teacher of mine had come down with it, yes, I recall it.” He thinks about it tries to see how it ties in with personas. “Had the metaverse existed at that time as well?”

“Oh, the metaverse?” Ken asks. “No, I can't say I've ever heard of that.” He clears his throat. “There was a time between midnight and the next day, Thinking about it, if you're a persona user I wonder if you had the potential then..." He knows it can be anyone, but not everyone who had the potential was spared from being set in those ominous coffins. If it were true the group from inaba would have recalled something. “Yes, the extra hour between 12:00 and 12:01 shadows ran free in a place called Tartarus, my friend's high school at night became a tower that reached up into the sky… Swarmed to the brim with shadows."

Goro listens curiously, hanging off of his every word. “Like a…” He's reluctant to start comparing notes. 

“Yes?” Ken asks, urging him to continue. 

“A palace, or perhaps like Mementos,” Goro says. “The collective unconscious of the world existed in a place called mementos, and…” Goodness, getting into it seemed like a hell of a lot right now. “If I were to condense it into something clear and concise I would say it was a sprawling subway system, nearly endless, where shadows would swarm much like the tower you mentioned. A palace, however, is a place like mementos that takes the form of the distorted desires of a vile person.” He doesn't bring up Maruki or Sakura, they're not relevant in a conversation where he wasn't going to give all the details.

“Like a manifestation of someone's deepest darkest secret?” Ken asks and Goro nods.

“Sort of. I suppose it's like…” He ponders on it. “If I were a person with a palace it would go something like…” He thinks some more. “I am, Goro Akechi, my palace is the television shooting studio, but in my mind, it turns into a castle, because I think I am the king of that place. In my palace, the cameramen and crew would all be like...Perhaps my slaves that bent to my every order because I saw them that way in reality as well.” He was satisfied with his answer. “It's all very symbolic in there, things are often exaggerated to make a sort of...point, I suppose.”

Ken nods. “I understand.” He nods. “A few years after what happened to me here in iwatodai, more persona users cropped up in the city Inaba who dealt with similar things.” He recalls what they told him rather well. “Shadows of a person acting in a manner symbolic of their feelings in reality, though usually these shadows would be the shadows belonging to the persona user.”

Goro arches a brow. “Persona users with shadows? That's impossible.”

Ken shakes his head. “That's all persona really are, shadows.” It made perfect sense to him. “Facing their shadows they were able to beat them into submission and come to terms with the reality of their palaces and convert their shadows into personas.” It felt good to talk about persona with someone who wasn't the team for once. “I wasn't involved, mine came to me one day, but I… I wish I had a shadow like them if only to help me understand myself more completely.”

“It does seem rather convenient.” Goro agrees. “Facing oneself and their deepest insecurities…” He chuckles a bit. “I think I might have strangled myself to death.”

Ken wants to be shocked, but he can't help but think that perhaps he was the same. “Yeah.” He offers simply. “Same.”

There's a long dip in the conversation of complete silence, but neither are bothered by it.

“...So, does this mean you were a phantom thief?” Ken asks and Goro scoffs.

“Fuck no.” He shuts the assumption down instantaneously. “Those people were garbage. If you don't live under a rock, I presume you know what my stance was rather well.” He looks to ken to see his response. When the other nods he continues. “They had good intentions of course, and they were able to change many horrible people but...when I needed them most, the leader betrayed me.”

“Mother fucker.” Ken offers.

“Indeed.” He agrees. “You probably don't remember, no one does, but the world was ending, persona related things again, and when called to action, to save us all, he relented.” He remembers watching Akiras blood planner across the bar of leblanc under his hand, the thrill of being so close to killing him for his affront to humanity. “He wanted to live a peaceful life where each of us lived under the oppressive control of a gentle god, who would take away our sorrows by removing all of what made us who we are.” He shrugs. “Imagine, an entire world of people with apathy syndrome being pushed and pulled like puppets, this was the fate that awaited us all with his choice not to fight."

Ken shakes his head, disappointed. “That's horrible...”

“Exactly.” Goro agrees. “I...Well, I can understand to some degree why he relented and I have no respect for it but…” He laughs bitterly. “At that time, the god had used my life as a way to urge him to back down.” He hated to admit it but loved to finally say something about it that wasn't him spitting his venom about the situation into Akiras face. “If he were to fix the world, it would mean running the risk of me dying. He could not condemn me to that fate, but could easily condemn us to the world that cult back then spoke of.” 

Ken doesn't like what he's hearing. “I guess I can understand that but at the same time…” He knows if he had to pull the trigger that had killed her he couldn't shoot back then. The only reason they let her go so easily was their not knowing her actions would kill her in the end. “It's not right.” Even knowing that, he knows that to fix things, she had to die. It was a great act of sacrifice for the world. If Goro here was ready to take on such a fate, he could only look at him with respect.

“Indeed.” And there's another silent dip in the conversation where both of them think about what to say next.

“...How did it feel, deciding to essentially... kill yourself?” ken asks, curious. He knows how he had felt, but had never met anyone else Like him.

“No one wants to die, naturally humans are inclined towards self-preservation.” Goro starts. “But I had accepted death once before, I could do it again.” And again and again, if it meant he had his freedom. “I’ve been a slave to circumstances my whole life. Used and pushed around by an unjust world in pursuit of a life worth living, a life of joy that I was denied when my childhood was stolen from me.” It's near cathartic to get the words out. “I cannot live in servitude of anyone but myself ever again, I won't be shaped by others unless I want to be. I won't relent until I have what I want, my justice.” 

The words are near sickening to Ken, but in a way, he was willing to feel forever. The word justice rings in his head, mocking him, he would never make her pay for what she did. He had once sought justice in the form of revenge, Shinji comes to mind and the way his hands were so steady when he decided that the man needed to die. Another thing on the long list of things that made him feel so far away from the world of people around him

"Justice..." Ken repeats.

Goro says nothing.

"...Have you killed anyone?" Ken asks, not really expecting a clear answer, but curious. 

Goro just looks at him, face reading as rather annoyed. "Do you think I would tell you if I did?"

Ken shrugs. "When I was young i tried to get revenge on the man who had taken my mother from me, nowadays I can acknowledge he was a victim of circumstances. He did not deserve to die, he had been punishing himself far before I met him." Ken starts. "He was just a kid with a persona too powerful to control...and killed my mother."

Goro continues to say nothing, letting him rant.

"He would never have done it of his own volition but...looking at the phantom thieves...if they used personas to change hearts, I would never have let those people live." When he was ten Shinjiro deserved death for an unforgivable act, when he had found that Shinjiro's act was forgivable he no longer wished for his death, however, his stance that some things could not be forgiven had not changed.

Goro nods. "They were soft people at heart," Goro finally tells him. "I could never be one of them, my justice wouldn't allow it."

Ken nods as well.

* * *

They both crack into a soda and ken opens the cake he had bought.

"I wish I had something I could cut this with." Ken laments. "I guess we could just use our hands?" He offers but Goro shakes his head.

"No need." He says simply and out of his jacket he reveals a never dangerous-looking hunting knife much to the surprise of Ken.

"Wh...Why the hell do you have that?"

Goro just shrugs. "I don't trust people."

Ken almost wants to say it doesn't make sense but he remembers wanting to carry his weapon on him at all times back in elementary. "Fair..." He slides the cake over to Goro. "Well, you want to cut it with that then go ahead."

Goro agrees and slices the cake. "My birthday was on the second actually," He starts. "All this cake in one month. I think I'm going to have to work out extra hard if I'm ever going to want to get back in shape."

Ken chuckles a bit and tears the lid off the box of cake to use as a plate. "Good luck to you, but let me tell you, my friends forced me to eat so much today I don't think I'm ever going to recover." He had not meant to sound so bitter but thinking about it, he was quite stressed about this as well. "Its really something, keeping up your looks, huh? You must have it even worst as a famous person."

Goro shrugs. "I was only joking, after everything that's happened I've given up entirely, I don't care what happens to how I look." He admits and ken frowns.

"I guess I can understand that." He takes his first bite of cake. "Mm." It was good, Goro takes a bite of his half and nods in agreement, savoring the flavor of the fruits on top.

"Well...despite how that person tarnished today...Happy birthday I guess?" Goro offers and ken smiles a bit. "Cheers." He lifts the soda ken had given him and ken lifts his as well.

* * *

Both of them sleep leaning against the other on the floor, cold and still trapped.

Goro wraps his arms around the other like he always did with pillows on his bed, the other doesn't pay any mind to it, knocked out cold from all the crying he had done tiring him out. It's only when kens ring tone wakes them both up does Goro realizes the position he's in.

"Ah!" He lets go and sits up along with ken who quickly answers his phone, service having come back. With no windows, neither of them know how long it's been since they fell asleep until Goro checks his phone.

"Hello?" Ken asks and Goro tells him its 8 am in the background.

"Yo, ken, we've been trying to get ahold of you all night! Are you alright?" Its Junpei.

"No I'm not I'm trapped in the elevator at my apartment I can't get out," Ken tells him and Junpei on the other end panics. 

"Oh! Well, shit dude call the cops holy fuck!" He hangs up leaving ken to do just that.

"Make the call quickly," Goro insists and Ken does just that.

* * *

A week had passed since his meeting Akechi and each time he thought of him he felt nothing but shame having forced him to listen to him all that time, but yet somehow he could not thank the universe enough for sending him someone like him.

**Akechi: Good morning Amada-san, is it alright if we meet up?**

Ken sees it's him now and his stomach turns. After all, they had been through that night it only felt natural that they become friends but he still couldn't shake the guilt of the night on the elevator from his mind. On the other end, Akechi finds himself questioning the way he was typing, now more than ever he had intended to just be himself but he was no longer the angry man ripping shadows in two in the metaverse.

"What am I without my anger?" He asks himself and he never has a solid answer, or at least not one he wants to accept, he thinks reading over his texts that reminds him of how he spoke as the detective prince.

**Amada: Oh yeah, sure! After school.**

**Akechi: School? I thought you had graduated.**

**Amada: I did, it's just I went to summer school as a last bit of cramming for entrance exams.**

**Akechi: Hm, didn't know they let people do that. Neat.**

**Akechi: Regardless, if we could meet up at the coffee shop at the mall that would be**

**Akechi: Meet me there.**

**Amada: Of course, see you soon.**

**Akechi: Though do be ready for more conversation. Having met someone with knowledge of personas and the likes, there are many things I would like to discuss.**

**Amada: I'm all ears, see you soon.**

Ken turns off his phone for now. He still ate peppers for breakfast despite his sickness, baby steps on his way to improvement were key. He would cut them out sooner or later but today wasn't the day, still having finally spoken he feels that perhaps next June would be better for him by a longshot.

**Author's Note:**

> Do i write more? Do I Make this many chapters? comment if u wanna see that, otherwise im done, perhaps. Idk.


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